This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman Art and Entertainment A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Art and Entertainment
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Art and Entertainment "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Art and Entertainment
Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Art and Entertainment The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Art and Entertainment
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Art and Entertainment The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain Art and Entertainment
The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein Art and Entertainment What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Art and Entertainment
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson Art and Entertainment I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Art and Entertainment
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Art and Entertainment "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Art and Entertainment
"I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Art and Entertainment "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Art and Entertainment
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Art and Entertainment If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Art and Entertainment
The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Art and Entertainment Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Art and Entertainment
"Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth.
These days they more often leave that way.
-- David Deckert A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Art and Entertainment The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Art and Entertainment
