Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H Kukes your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Kukes
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Kukes Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Kukes
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Kukes It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Kukes
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Kukes I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Kukes
This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Kukes Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Kukes
"The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Kukes I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Kukes
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Kukes I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Kukes
I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Kukes "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken Kukes
Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Kukes I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Kukes
I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Kukes The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Kukes
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Kukes If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Kukes
