Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac Legal Services Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Legal Services
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Legal Services To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Legal Services
If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Legal Services The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Legal Services
For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain Legal Services "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
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Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Legal Services "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan Legal Services
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Legal Services The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Legal Services
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Legal Services "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Legal Services
Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Legal Services Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Legal Services
"I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Legal Services The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden Legal Services
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Legal Services If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Legal Services
"I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Legal Services Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Legal Services
