Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm Industries True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Industries
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Industries Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville Industries
I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Industries My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Industries
People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Industries UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Industries
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Industries "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Industries
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Industries This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Industries
blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Industries "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Industries
With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Industries "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Industries
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Industries When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Industries
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Industries "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard Industries
"I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Industries No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Industries
