"Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Guides and Directories That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Guides and Directories
I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Guides and Directories There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Guides and Directories
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Guides and Directories
If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Guides and Directories "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Guides and Directories
I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Guides and Directories Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Guides and Directories
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w Guides and Directories The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Guides and Directories
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde Guides and Directories "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Guides and Directories
Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson Guides and Directories I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Guides and Directories
"I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Guides and Directories "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Guides and Directories
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Guides and Directories He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Guides and Directories
"This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Guides and Directories It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Guides and Directories
