The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Oblasts Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Oblasts
Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Oblasts Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Oblasts
I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Oblasts I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Oblasts
A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Oblasts Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Oblasts
"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Oblasts "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Oblasts
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot Oblasts The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein Oblasts
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Oblasts "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Oblasts
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Oblasts May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Oblasts
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Oblasts Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual Oblasts
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Oblasts My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Oblasts
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Oblasts The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Oblasts
