The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Issues To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Issues
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Issues "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Issues
"Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Issues The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) Issues
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Issues "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Issues
"Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Issues It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Issues
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t Issues "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus Issues
And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Issues Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Issues
"I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Issues your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) Issues
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Issues "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein Issues
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Issues Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Issues
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Issues It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Issues
