You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell Religion The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Religion
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. Religion The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Religion
The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Religion You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Religion
"People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson Religion My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Religion
"Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Religion The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Religion
Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Religion The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Religion
In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Religion I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Religion
"This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Religion Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost Religion
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Marriage is a rest period between romances. "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Religion Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Religion
A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Religion "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Religion
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Religion There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan Religion
