"Think off-center." (George Carlin) I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig L Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) L
As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, L Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West L
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a L A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran L
My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov L Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright L
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr L "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 L
Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) L The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) L
I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes L When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard L
Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe L Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) L
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) L "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton L
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner L "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain L
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion L Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran L
