Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce T "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry T
"Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All T Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo T
To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg T A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) T
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died T blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 T
"I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker T If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain T
"If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. T I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics T
That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) "Think off-center." (George Carlin) A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne T Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist T
To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis T Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" T
"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov T He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n T
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) T "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary T
Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli T And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. T
