Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Museums Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Museums
To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Museums "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Museums
"Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Museums I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Museums
"Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) Museums If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Museums
"Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Museums University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Museums
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Museums A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Museums
Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Museums To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Museums
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Museums He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Museums
Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Museums Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Museums
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Museums "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Museums
It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Museums Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Museums
