I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Maps and Views Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X What's new? Most of my wife. Maps and Views
"I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Maps and Views Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Maps and Views
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Maps and Views For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian Maps and Views
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Maps and Views May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Maps and Views
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Maps and Views It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Maps and Views
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington Maps and Views "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Maps and Views
Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Maps and Views If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Maps and Views
When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Maps and Views Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Maps and Views
"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Maps and Views The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) Maps and Views
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Maps and Views "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Maps and Views
Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Maps and Views What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. Maps and Views
