Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Military "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Military
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Military I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Military
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw Military Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Military
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Military "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Military
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Military "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Military
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr Military Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Military
When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Military The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to Military
I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Military "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Military
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Military blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden Military
"I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Military When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Military
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers Military Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Military
