The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Christianity He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Christianity
"Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Christianity blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Christianity
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Christianity Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Christianity
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Christianity Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Christianity
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Christianity He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Christianity
To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Christianity When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Christianity
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara Christianity If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Christianity
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. Christianity Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Christianity
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Christianity Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Christianity
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Christianity "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Christianity
Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Christianity If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Christianity
