Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Libraries Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Libraries
A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Libraries Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Libraries
"I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Libraries I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Libraries
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Libraries Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Libraries
All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Libraries I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Libraries
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Libraries Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Libraries
"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Libraries Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Libraries
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Libraries "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa Libraries
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Libraries "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Libraries
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Libraries The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Libraries
I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Libraries Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Libraries
