The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Government Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words Government
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Government I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Government
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell Government I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Government
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Government This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Government
Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Government You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev Government
All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Government Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Government
Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Government When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Government
I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Government Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Government
Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Government There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Government
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide Government It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe My other wife is beautiful. When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow Government
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Government I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Government
