"No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
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-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
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Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Restaurants and Bars By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
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a fortune He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
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Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
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-- Anonymous "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
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-- Anatole France Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Restaurants and Bars "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
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If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
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"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
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We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Restaurants and Bars I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
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-- William Jennings Bryant Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
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'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
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In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
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-- Ogden Nash We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
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-- Ralph Waldo Emerson There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
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A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
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-- Maria Edgeworth Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
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There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
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-- Garry Trudeau It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
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-- Helen Rowland Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
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-- John Renmerde Restaurants and Bars