Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Education In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words Education
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Education Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Education
"An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Education Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Education
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Education Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Education
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Education And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West Education
.. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Education The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) Education
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa Education You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education
"Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West Education They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Education
Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon May you never leave your marriage alive. Education Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Education
Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Education "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates Education
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Education blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Education
