I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Industries "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Industries
Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Industries "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" What's new? Most of my wife. Industries
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Industries Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Industries
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw Industries The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Industries
Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Industries The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Industries
"Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Industries If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Industries
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Industries We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa Industries
I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Industries Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Industries
In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Industries It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Industries
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Industries "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Industries
"To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry Industries Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Industries
