Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Laws I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Laws
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Laws Marriage is a rest period between romances. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Laws
I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Laws "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Laws
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Laws Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Laws
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Laws The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Laws
You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Laws "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Laws
"The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Laws "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Laws
I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Laws I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Laws
Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Laws "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Laws
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Laws You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Laws
Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Laws Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Laws
