"Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Animals I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Animals
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson Animals I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Animals
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Animals Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Animals
Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning Animals Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Animals
If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume Animals Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Animals
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Animals "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Animals
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Animals The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Animals
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Animals Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Animals
"Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Animals And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Animals
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone Animals Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder Animals
Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Animals My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Animals
