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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Services .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Services
The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Services Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe Services
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Services The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Services
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Services Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Services
Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata Services The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Services
You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Services "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Services
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Services I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and
discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne Services
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Services It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Services
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Services Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker Services
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Services Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Services
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Services Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Services
