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With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die. -- Abraham Lincoln If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything. -- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him. -- Shelley Winters Shipping, Storage and Logistics "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. -- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it. -- G. K. Chesterton Shipping, Storage and Logistics Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. -- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has come. -- Victor Hugo Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. -- T. S. Eliot Every flower must grow through dirt. -- Anonymous May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Shipping, Storage and Logistics That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach. -- Aldous Huxley The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Shipping, Storage and Logistics "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Shipping, Storage and Logistics When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home. -- Betty Bender "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Shipping, Storage and Logistics Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do. -- Oscar Wilde "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin. -- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Now comes the mystery. -- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Shipping, Storage and Logistics I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Shipping, Storage and Logistics One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. -- Sophocles "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing. -- Sigmund Freud "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Shipping, Storage and Logistics We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent. -- Anatole France The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing. -- Publilius Syrus >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory! -- General Douglas MacArthur Shipping, Storage and Logistics Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. -- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) This book fills a much-needed gap. - Moses Hadas in a review I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. - Bill Hirst Shipping, Storage and Logistics Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask th The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed. -- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Shipping, Storage and Logistics Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. - Sherlock Holmes I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't. -- Lucille Ball If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. -- H. L. Mencken Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Shipping, Storage and Logistics Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi Shipping, Storage and Logistics "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. --Anon. We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him. -- Shelley Winters Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. -- Anonymous "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Shipping, Storage and Logistics Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. -- Oscar Wilde I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence. -- Doug MacLeod We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not know what to create. -- Jose Ortega y Gasset Shipping, Storage and Logistics Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. -- Stephen Leacock You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly Parton "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Shipping, Storage and Logistics We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive. -- Ayn Rand Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Shipping, Storage and Logistics "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees. -- Emiliano Zapata Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. -- Bertrand Russell "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Shipping, Storage and Logistics The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. -- Lily Tomlin There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day. -- Adlai Stevenson Shipping, Storage and Logistics A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -- Michel de Montaigne Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. -- Arthur C. Clarke The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Shipping, Storage and Logistics I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted. -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third Wo To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Shipping, Storage and Logistics
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