Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Shareware If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Shareware
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Shareware Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Shareware
"There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Shareware The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Shareware
He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Shareware In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) Shareware
In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Shareware "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) Shareware
"Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove Shareware To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Shareware
"It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Shareware Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA Shareware
Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton Shareware Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Shareware
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Shareware Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Shareware
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit Shareware "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Shareware
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Shareware Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Shareware
