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Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Home Improvement "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) Home Improvement
Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Home Improvement Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Home Improvement
Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Home Improvement "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus Home Improvement
blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Home Improvement I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) Home Improvement
It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Home Improvement It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Home Improvement
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Home Improvement The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Home Improvement
We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Home Improvement "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Home Improvement
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Home Improvement No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Home Improvement
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Home Improvement Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Home Improvement
"Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Home Improvement There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Home Improvement
Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Home Improvement You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Home Improvement
