Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Guides and Directories If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler Guides and Directories
"This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Guides and Directories "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Guides and Directories
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar Guides and Directories "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 Guides and Directories
The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Guides and Directories Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Guides and Directories
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Guides and Directories Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Guides and Directories
"When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Guides and Directories Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Guides and Directories
We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Guides and Directories Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Guides and Directories
"Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) Guides and Directories When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Guides and Directories
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Guides and Directories "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Guides and Directories
I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Guides and Directories "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Guides and Directories
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Guides and Directories It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Guides and Directories
