Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Recreation and Sports I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Recreation and Sports
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Recreation and Sports Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Recreation and Sports
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Recreation and Sports He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Recreation and Sports
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Recreation and Sports We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Recreation and Sports
And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Recreation and Sports I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Recreation and Sports
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Recreation and Sports Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt Recreation and Sports
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Recreation and Sports The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Recreation and Sports
Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West Recreation and Sports "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Recreation and Sports
"The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Recreation and Sports "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Recreation and Sports
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Recreation and Sports We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Recreation and Sports
"Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Recreation and Sports My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt Recreation and Sports
