In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Recreation and Sports You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Recreation and Sports
"One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Recreation and Sports The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Recreation and Sports
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Recreation and Sports The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Recreation and Sports
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Recreation and Sports Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Recreation and Sports
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Recreation and Sports Man and wife make one fool. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Recreation and Sports
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Recreation and Sports Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Recreation and Sports
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r Recreation and Sports "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Recreation and Sports
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Recreation and Sports As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Recreation and Sports
If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Recreation and Sports A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Recreation and Sports
blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Recreation and Sports "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Recreation and Sports
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Recreation and Sports "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Recreation and Sports
