When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Guides and Directories When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Guides and Directories
The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Guides and Directories No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Guides and Directories
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Guides and Directories In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's Guides and Directories
The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Guides and Directories "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Guides and Directories
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Guides and Directories "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Guides and Directories
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Guides and Directories "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis Guides and Directories
"People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Guides and Directories Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Guides and Directories
As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Man and wife make one fool. .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Guides and Directories The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and
discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne Guides and Directories
We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Guides and Directories With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Guides and Directories
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Guides and Directories I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein Guides and Directories
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Guides and Directories
