You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Guides and Directories "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Guides and Directories
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Guides and Directories "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw Guides and Directories
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Guides and Directories Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Guides and Directories
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w Guides and Directories 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry Guides and Directories
"Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Guides and Directories The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Guides and Directories
Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton Guides and Directories The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Guides and Directories
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) Guides and Directories If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Guides and Directories
The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Guides and Directories "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Guides and Directories
The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) Guides and Directories "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Guides and Directories
Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Guides and Directories It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Guides and Directories
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken Guides and Directories "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Guides and Directories
