Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Hotels "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g Hotels
"An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Hotels Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Hotels
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Hotels A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Hotels
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Hotels All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Hotels
"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Hotels True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Hotels
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Hotels He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Hotels
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Hotels Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Hotels
Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Hotels ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Hotels
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Hotels When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Hotels
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Hotels The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Hotels
"The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Hotels The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Hotels
