Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Health "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Health
"One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Health Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Health
Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill Health In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein Health
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Health Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Health
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain Health "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Health
Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Health This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Health
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous Health We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Health
Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Health "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Health
Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Health Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Health
There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire What's new? Most of my wife. Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard Health It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Health
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Health A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Health
