ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Arts and Entertainment It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Arts and Entertainment
Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Arts and Entertainment Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Arts and Entertainment
"I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Arts and Entertainment Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Arts and Entertainment
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Arts and Entertainment In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Arts and Entertainment
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Arts and Entertainment To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Arts and Entertainment
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers Arts and Entertainment This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Arts and Entertainment
The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Arts and Entertainment Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Marriage is a rest period between romances. "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment
"It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Arts and Entertainment They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Arts and Entertainment
He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Arts and Entertainment The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage Arts and Entertainment
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Arts and Entertainment "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ Arts and Entertainment
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Arts and Entertainment Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Arts and Entertainment
