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Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Magazines and E-zines You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Magazines and E-zines
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Magazines and E-zines Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Magazines and E-zines
There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Magazines and E-zines God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Magazines and E-zines
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Magazines and E-zines If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Magazines and E-zines
"The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Magazines and E-zines Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki Magazines and E-zines
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous Magazines and E-zines It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Magazines and E-zines
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Magazines and E-zines The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Magazines and E-zines
"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Magazines and E-zines I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Magazines and E-zines
"Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Magazines and E-zines When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa Magazines and E-zines
Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. Magazines and E-zines Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Magazines and E-zines
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Magazines and E-zines America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Magazines and E-zines
