Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Dance Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Dance
"Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Dance I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) Dance
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Dance A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Dance
He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Dance Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Dance
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Dance Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) Dance
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) Dance My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Dance
"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Dance Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) Dance
The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi Dance Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Dance
Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Dance "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Dance
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Dance The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Dance
"For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Dance Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake Dance
