Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l Rail "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Rail
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo Rail For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Rail
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours Rail If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Rail
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken Rail The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Rail
In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 Rail Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Rail
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Rail He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Rail
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Rail Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Rail
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Rail "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Rail
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker Rail "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Rail
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Rail If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Rail
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Rail "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Rail
