Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Revnice He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Revnice
Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) Revnice Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Revnice
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Revnice ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Revnice
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Revnice I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Revnice
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Revnice "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Revnice
As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Revnice Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Revnice
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Revnice "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Revnice
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Revnice The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Revnice
Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Revnice If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Revnice
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Revnice If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Revnice
Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Revnice Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Revnice
