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My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Guides and Directories blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting Guides and Directories
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire Guides and Directories What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Guides and Directories
blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Guides and Directories "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Guides and Directories
"Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Guides and Directories In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Guides and Directories
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Guides and Directories Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Guides and Directories
Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Guides and Directories This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Guides and Directories
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Guides and Directories We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz Guides and Directories
Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Guides and Directories Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Guides and Directories
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Guides and Directories "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Guides and Directories
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Guides and Directories If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Guides and Directories
People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Guides and Directories Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Guides and Directories
