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Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Television The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Television
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus Television "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous Television
No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Television It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Television
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Television Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Television
Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Television Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Television
Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Television Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Television
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Television A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Television
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Television Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Television
"Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi Television Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Television
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend Television The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Television
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe Spinster: A bachelor's wife. "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Television Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr Television
