Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Lodging We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Lodging
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Lodging Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Lodging
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Lodging He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard Lodging
"Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Lodging The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Lodging
The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Lodging Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Lodging
Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake Lodging Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Lodging
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Lodging In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Lodging
Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Lodging Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw Lodging
"Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Lodging The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Lodging
>From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Lodging The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Lodging
"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Lodging If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Lodging
