Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Recreation and Sports Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Recreation and Sports
"Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Recreation and Sports Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Recreation and Sports
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Spinster: A bachelor's wife. I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Recreation and Sports "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Recreation and Sports
The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Recreation and Sports We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Recreation and Sports
You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Recreation and Sports One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Recreation and Sports
"Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Recreation and Sports Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran Recreation and Sports
Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai Recreation and Sports When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Recreation and Sports
blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Recreation and Sports "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Recreation and Sports
No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Recreation and Sports In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Recreation and Sports
"... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Recreation and Sports What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Recreation and Sports
We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Recreation and Sports A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Recreation and Sports
