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"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb News and Media Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) News and Media
"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen News and Media We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz News and Media
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell News and Media Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle News and Media
What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin News and Media "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I News and Media
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show News and Media If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost News and Media
Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick News and Media Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte News and Media
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous News and Media Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage News and Media
"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson News and Media Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human News and Media
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume News and Media Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese News and Media
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) News and Media What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley News and Media
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW News and Media There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) News and Media
