A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Pets I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Pets
"The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Pets "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Pets
2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Pets I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Pets
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Pets Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Pets
Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Pets The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi Pets
Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Pets Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Pets
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) Pets "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Pets
When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Pets Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain Pets
blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Pets It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Pets
"Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Pets The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Pets
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Pets It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Pets
