When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Juva He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Juva
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Juva If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Juva
Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Juva The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Juva
If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Juva If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) What's new? Most of my wife. Juva
A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Juva Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Juva
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Juva The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) Juva
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Juva I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Juva
"One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Juva I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Juva
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Juva Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Juva
"Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie Juva I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant Juva
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart Juva If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Juva
