Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel E "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen E
To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) E I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost E
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius E Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein E
I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) E "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain E
Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons E If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain E
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken E "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) E
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley E The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana E
A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken E May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) E
I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- E The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg E
There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea E A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac E
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow E "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry E
