When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde J "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) J
Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. J Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper J
The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I J "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill J
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa J Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous J
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton J Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 J
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer J "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh J
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) J Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd J
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch J Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) J
Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) J I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr J
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) J Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden J
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley J If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine J
