When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) K For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer K
The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland K The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb K
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln K Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan K
Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French K "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) K
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) K In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen K
"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer K Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) K
Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte K If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock K
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler K "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm K
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer K Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln K
"Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes K "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers K
"Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. K Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones K
