"Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock V The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi V
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein V Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) V
Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon V "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce V
What's new? Most of my wife. Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) V Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks V
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde V As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) V
A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous V There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) V
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian V "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) V
"The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen V Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman V
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen V Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan V
Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln V Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons V
Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) V Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) V
