Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) Winter Sports "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Winter Sports
We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Winter Sports Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Winter Sports
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Winter Sports Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Winter Sports
Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Winter Sports If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance Winter Sports
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Winter Sports Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Winter Sports
It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Winter Sports If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Winter Sports
blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Winter Sports I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Winter Sports
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Winter Sports "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Winter Sports
blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Winter Sports That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Winter Sports
"When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Winter Sports "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost Winter Sports
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Winter Sports I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Winter Sports
