"One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Regions The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Regions
"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Regions Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Regions
It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Regions There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Regions
Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Regions "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Regions
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Regions The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Regions
The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Regions There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Regions
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Regions Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Regions
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Regions If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Regions
Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx Regions You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Regions
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Regions Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Regions
Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Regions May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Regions
